


Welcome to Cafe Ambrosia. May I take your fucking order?

by LootsLogic



Series: Cafe Ambrosia [1]
Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, M/M, Sexual Harassment, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 15:13:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15888603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LootsLogic/pseuds/LootsLogic
Summary: Sandalphon provides the kind of customer service to bad customers that you wish you could get away with at your own job.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Lyria is an absolute ray of sunshine and I love her to bits. I wanted to see more fan content of Lyria and Sandalphon friendship, and figured I need to be the change I want to see.

Sandalphon quickly shoved his laptop into his bookbag before throwing it over his shoulder, nearly knocking over a classmate in the process. “Hey! Watch it!”

But Sandalphon was already gone from the lecture hall, dashing off to work. Anyone who knew him well would notice that there was an extra spring in his step today. Anyone who knew him _really well_ knows better than to voice that. After all, today was going to be the day that Sandalphon was finally going to ask Lucifer out.

 --------

About half a year ago, a new cafe had opened up on the route between his apartment and campus. Sandalphon had been reviewing the previous night’s assignments as he was walking by when he heard someone call out to him. “Excuse me, young man. Would you like to try a free sample?”

He had taken the offered cup and put it to his lips to take a sip.

It was love at first sight.

No, not the coffee.

_Lucifer_.

God, to say the man was gorgeous would be a severe understatement. Soft, platinum blond hair framed high cheekbones with clear blue eyes set beneath long, delicate lashes. He had stared, absolutely smitten by the man, when he realized that the man was gazing at him expectantly. “How did you like my coffee?”

He quickly gulped down the rest of the bitter drink and forced a smile. “I-it’s delicious!”

Sandalphon had just about died right then and there when a bright, gentle smile spread across the cafe owner’s face. It was almost too much for Sandalphon’s weak, gay heart. “I’m glad.”

Soon, Sandalphon found himself making a stop at the cafe every day on his way to and from campus. Lucifer would enthusiastically talk to him at length about coffee every time.

One day it would be about brewing techniques. Another day it would be about roasts and bean origins. Sometimes he would even get hands on lessons on brewing or roasting.

Well, one thing led to another, and Sandalphon found himself working for Cafe Ambrosia a few weeks later.

 -------- 

The bell on the door jingled softly as Sandalphon pulled it open. “Welcome to Cafe Ambrosia! Oh, it’s you, Sandalphon!”

Djeeta grinned and waved at him from the register. Sandalphon nodded at her. “You’re here early.”

“Seniors get off early today!”

Sandalphon could scarcely hold back his excitement. “Is Lucifer in?” he blurted a little too quickly.

“No,” Djeeta replied. Upon seeing him physically deflate, she quickly added, “Not yet.”

He perked up slightly and headed back to the employee lounge to drop off his belongings. As he returned to the front, Djeeta was standing over the sink wringing out a dishcloth. “I’m going to wipe down the tables.”

He gave the cafe a quick scan. It was fairly quiet with a pair of customers sitting by the windows chatting over coffee. “Have you gone on your break yet?”

Djeeta laughed nervously. “Not yet,” she mumbled sheepishly. “I guess I should’ve taken it before Gran left.”

Sandalphon sighed as he tied his apron. “Just wipe down the ones inside and take your break. I’ll do the ones outside.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, it doesn’t look busy right now,” Sandalphon grabbed a clean dishcloth and started drying the dishes by the sink. “Besides, Lyria usually comes by around this time, doesn’t she?”

Djeeta perked up notably at the mention of Lyria’s name, scrubbing the table before her with more gusto after spraying it down. “Okay. Can you heat up one of the sandwiches for me, then?”

“Yeah,” he replied, setting down the plate he was drying. “Which one you want?”

“Surprise me!” When he made a face, she quickly added, “You better not do something weird like stuff a brownie in a tuna melt or something like that.”

He scoffed. “So much for ‘surprise me,’ huh?”

“Geez, fine. Get me a turkey swiss then.”

“Got it.” He placed the sandwich into the oven and set a timer before returning to drying the dishes.

The cafe’s door jingled softly, and Sandalphon and Djeeta both looked up simultaneously, “Welcome to Cafe Ambrosia!”

“Djeeta! Sandalphon! Look what I drew!” Lyria came bounding in grinning proudly with her prized journal open in her hands.

“Finished with choir practice already?” Djeeta paused to peek at the journal. “How cute!”

Sandalphon leaned over the counter and squinted at the drawing. “What kind of lizard is that? Looks weird.”

Lyria puffed her cheeks out. She was only a year younger than Djeeta, but with the way she behaved, he could hardly believe she was attending the same high school as Djeeta and Gran. “Sandalphon! It’s a dragon! Can’t you tell?”

He tried to suppress his laughter, but a snort escaped, eliciting an unhappy sound from Lyria. “Not really, no. Looks like a fat lizard to me.”

Djeeta frowned at him and pointed to the drawing. “Stop giving Lyria such a hard time. It clearly has wings right here.”

“Still looks like a fat lizard. Besides,” Sandalphon stopped drying the glass in his hands and pointed at the round object between the subject’s hands. “What kind of dragon eats apples?”

Tears beaded up at the corners of her eyes. “Do you have to be so mean?”

Djeeta shot him a glare before wiping off her hands and heading towards the counter. “Same as usual right, Lyria?”

Lyria’s eyes brightened up, Sandalphon’s harsh art critique quickly forgotten. “Yeah!”

Sandalphon put his hand on Djeeta’s shoulder, stopping her. “I’ll take care of it. Just finish up the tables.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” Sandalphon nodded towards Lyria. “So you can take your break with her.”

Djeeta raised an eyebrow, but she returned to the table she was cleaning. “Alright.”

Lyria had scurried up to the counter, peeking over the barrier on her tiptoes, eyes sparkling, as she watched him make her order. Sandalphon fought the urge to laugh as he started the espresso machine. Her eyes eagerly followed his hands as he scooped ice and pumped chocolate syrup into the blender. Her grin grew wider and wider as he poured in the milk and coffee before setting it onto its base and turning the blender on. She really didn’t look like she was a high-schooler.

As the blender ran, Sandalphon walked over to the pastry display and picked up a lemon bar with a pair of tongs to show her. “Pastry of the day’s a lemon bar. You want it?”

“Yeah! Two please!” Lyria replied enthusiastically, bouncing emphatically with each syllable.

He plated the lemon bars and set them on a tray near the register before returning to the blender. As he poured the mixture into a large cup, he snuck another glance towards Lyria and fought to suppress another bout of laughter. She could scarcely contain her excitement, bouncing up and down behind the barrier. Sandalphon reached down to open the refrigerator door to retrieve the whipped cream. “Extra please!”

“Yeah, yeah.”

He piled the whipped cream onto the mixture and drizzled more syrup on top before carrying it carefully to the register, the enormous pile of whipped cream wobbling back and forth, threatening to topple over. Lyria was already counting out her change. “Right, that’s two lemon bars and ‘A Cup to Die For.’”

Lyria looked up from her counting, puzzled. “‘A Cup to Die For?’”

“Yeah,” Sandalphon gestured at the drink: a large blended mocha with extra syrup and an impressive, towering pile of whipped cream finished off with a drizzle of chocolate syrup. “Because you’ll get diabetes and die.”

“Why do you always have to be so mean, Sandalphon?” Lyria pouts.

“ _Sandalphon!_ ”

Even without looking in her direction, he could feel Djeeta glaring daggers at him. He shrugged. “Right, right. So-”

The phone suddenly rang, making him jump. Lyria burst out laughing. “Sh-shut it!” grumbled Sandalphon as he picked up the phone. “Cafe Ambrosia, how can I help you?”

“Oh, good. It’s you, Sandalphon.”

The phone slipped out of Sandalphon’s grip and he scrambled to catch it, prompting more laughter from Lyria. “L-Lucifer!” he managed to squeak out. “I-it’s good to hear you!”

He mentally kicked himself. _Great going, Sandalphon. Real smooth. Oh well, might as well ask him out or something._ “H-hey, I was thinki-”

“Ah, the plane is boarding soon, so I must be quick. It is rather last minute, but could you contact Michael or Raphael? I will be away for two weeks,” Lucifer paused for a moment, the sound of paper being shuffled could be heard. “I’m heading to South America to look into some potential suppliers for a new blend I’m working on.”

Sandalphon’s shoulders drooped. “Y-yeah, I can do that.”

“Thank goodness! My contact had called me this morning and I barely had enough time to get everything together. I tried calling them, but neither picked up and both their voicemail were full. I was afraid I would have to close the cafe temporarily,” Lucifer breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank-you. I don’t know what I would do without you, Sandalphon.”

“Y-yeah.”

“I’m boarding the plane now. I will see you in two weeks then!”

The line went dead and Sandalphon slumped over face down onto the counter defeated. “Sandalphon, are you okay?”

“Today can’t possibly get any worse…” he mumbled, slightly muffled by the countertop.

Lyria reached over the counter and gently patted his head. “It’s okay. Better luck next time!”

Sandalphon’s face shot up. “Wh-what are you talking about?”

“It’s really, really obvious how much you love Lucifer!” she grinned. “Were you about to ask him out?”

“L-l-love?” His face flushed. “Th-that’s n-n- _nonsense_!”

Lyria giggled, pumping her fist in the air. “There’s no need to be embarrassed! I’ll cheer you on, Sandalphon!”

Sandalphon sputtered, words failing him. “I’m done with the tables inside!” Djeeta called out as she returned to the register. Sandalphon was thankful for her timely interruption. She looked over the register with a puzzled look. “Hmm? You didn’t finish Lyria’s transaction, yet?”

“R-right. By the way, is Michael or Raphael in today?” Sandalphon asked as he quickly counted up Lyria’s change.

Djeeta started rinsing out the dishcloth. “Michael was here earlier. She left an hour before you came. I think she said something about giving one of our suppliers a piece of her mind, or something. A few of the stuff that came in today were broken when we opened the boxes,” she paused to wring out the cloth and hang it up to dry. “Not sure about Raphael. Why?”

Sandalphon bit his lip. “Lucifer’s going to be gone for two weeks.”

“Oh.”

Lyria was straining to reach her tray, her whole body stretched out over the counter. Even though she pushed up on her tiptoes, her fingers barely grazed the edge of the tray. Only when she gave a strained squeak did he finally notice that the tray was too far for her to reach, so he pushed it closer to her. She gently picked up the tray and slowly carried it to a corner table with extra care, lest the tower of whipped cream and syrup topple over. Djeeta retrieved her sandwich from the oven and quickly joined Lyria.

Sandalphon watched them enviously as he finished up drying the dishes. Lyria was showing Djeeta something in her journal, which sent Djeeta into a fit of laughter. Part of him wished he could have something like that with Lucifer. _Guess I’ll just have to wait two weeks before trying again, huh._

He stacked the last plate in the shelf, when he paused, hand hovering near a glass. Sandalphon snuck another glance towards the two. Djeeta was laughing hard enough that she was coughing, whereas Lyria was already almost done with her first lemon bar. He frowned. Lyria hadn’t started on her drink yet. _Oh._

He grabbed a clean glass and quickly filled it with iced tea, setting it onto a clean tray along with a spoon. Sandalphon walked over and wordlessly deposits the two items at Lyria and Djeeta’s table. Djeeta looked up in surprise. “Thanks!”

Lyria grinned happily before digging into her drink with the spoon. “You’re not all bad.”

Sandalphon snorted in response before looking down at the open journal. He squinted at the drawing and pointed at the page. “Is that supposed to be me?”

“NO PEEKING!” cried Lyria, dropping her spoon on the tray as she threw her arms over her journal to block his view. “I’m not done with that one yet!”

There were other ways she could’ve covered up the picture. Snapping the journal shut would be one. Hiding it under the table would’ve been another. But Lyria had to go with the most childish method. He fought the urge to laugh, instead pointing his thumb at Djeeta. “But you were showing her.”

“JUST DJEETA!” Lyria pouted, her cheeks puffing up. “I was asking her for her opinion!”

He craned his neck forward to peek past her arms, but Lyria stretched out further to block his view, her small body shaking from the strain. Sandalphon drew back, having teased Lyria enough. “Alright. I’ll leave.”

He headed back towards the sink to grab a clean dishcloth and spray bottle, with Lyria watching his movement warily. She didn’t completely relax again until after he headed out the cafe to wipe the tables.

Sandalphon pushed the cafe door open, the bells jingling softly. The weather was definitely warming up. Birds were singing merrily in the trees and the sunlight filtered through the leaves, their shadows dancing across the sidewalk. All in all, a perfect day. His lips tugged downwards, threatening a frown. _Well, it would’ve been a perfect day if Lucifer were here._

He sighed, plopping the damp dishcloth onto the closest table. _Lucifer was going to be gone for two weeks. There’s no point dwelling on that._

He looked down at the table and clicked his tongue in annoyance. Whoever sat there last left a large mess behind. Crumbs and paper cups, he expected, but the table was also covered in wrappers and sauce packets. Sandalphon frowned. _We don’t even serve food that come with hot sauce. What the hell?!_

Grumbling, he scooped up the garbage into one of the paper cups and emptied them into a nearby trash can. _The garbage cans are only ten steps away!_ He seethed. _Ten fucking steps away, but I guess that’s just too much for some people!_

Sandalphon returned to the offending table and was dismayed to discover that the garbage had been hiding a puddle of spilled hot sauce. He gingerly prodded the puddle with a corner of the dishcloth, only to find that it had already completely dried. Internally screaming, he unscrewed the spray bottle and poured a thin layer of cleaning solution over the dried mess before moving to a different table.

Thankfully, the other tables weren’t as messy. By the time he finished wiping them down, the mess had softened enough to wipe up. Even then, Sandalphon discovered that he really needed to put his weight into it to scrub away the dried sauce. “Why are people so disgusting?” he muttered to himself, frowning.

He suddenly felt someone standing behind him breathing heavily. _Why the hell do customers do that? Do they think I can take their fucking order out here or something?_ He paused for a moment. _Oh, Djeeta’s still on her break… but I didn’t hear the door? That’s right, they can probably see there’s no one at the counter._

Sandalphon sighed. “Can you hold on for a moment? I’ll help you as soon as I finish cleaning up this mess,” when he didn’t sense the customer moving, he quickly added, “You can wait inside. I’ll be there as soon as this is done.”

There was still no movement from the customer. _What the fuck is wrong with this customer?!_

He began to turn around. “Look, I’m almost done. If you’d just hea-” Sandalphon interrupted himself at the sensation of a hand squeezing his ass. “WHAT THE _FUCK?!_ ”

He felt a warm breath against his ear. “You look _so good_ bent over like that. _Oooo_ , you've also got such a nice, _firm_ ass.”

Another hand had just slipped between his inner thigh when Sandalphon spun around immediately, decking the offender in the face screaming. The man crumpled to the ground groaning, but Sandalphon didn’t care. He yanked the cafe door open and bolted inside, the gentle jingling of the bells above contrasting his sustained screaming. Djeeta and Lyria jumped at the sound of him screaming. Djeeta looked up at him, her brows knit with worry. “Sandalphon, what’s the matter?”

But Sandalphon wasn’t listening. He sprinted into the staff break room and dove beneath a table.

Still screaming.

 

Sandalphon had spent the last twenty minutes screaming beneath a table in the staff break room since he returned to the safety of the cafe’s interior. Djeeta and Lyria had been desperately trying to calm him down enough to find out what happened, but any words they managed to coax out of him were completely intelligible. At the very least, they finally managed to get him to stop screaming.

Lyria gently stroked his hair, noting that he was still trembling. “You’re safe now, Sandalphon,” she whispered as soothingly as she could. “Everything’s going to be okay now.”

The sound of heels clicking against the tile floor joined Sandalphon’s whimpering. “Hmm? What’s this?”

All three looked up to find a tall, imposing woman in a white suit standing near the doorway. Djeeta brightened up. “Michael! I’m not sure what happened, but he went running into the cafe screaming,” she glanced over at Sandalphon. “He stopped screaming now, but…”

Michael knelt down in front of him, peering into his face with concern. “Are you alright?” Sandalphon nodded slowly in response. Michael’s face softened. “Are you ready to explain what happened?”

He bit his lip. “I was cleaning up the tables outside when… when some horny bastard groped my ass,” his brow furrowed. “I punched him in the face and ran in.”

Michael frowned, pulling out a notepad and pen from her pocket. “I didn’t see anyone outside when I came in. Can you describe the person? I’ll contact the security patrol around here so they can keep an eye out.”

Sandalphon faltered. “Shit. I didn’t get a good look at his face.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sandalphon doesn't want to go to work. Lucifer's not going to be there anyway, so what's the point? Also what if that horny bastard comes back?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sandalphon is a shitty friend, but he tries.

The alarm on his phone went off, beeping obnoxiously. He reached over to turn it off, but he accidentally slapped the phone off of his night stand instead.

_Well, that’s just great._

It was still beeping loudly, but now his phone was also on the other side of his room. Sandalphon groaned. He really didn’t want to get up and go to work.  _One, Lucifer’s not going to be there. He’s fuck knows where in South America looking at beans. Two, what if that horny bastard returns?_

But his alarm wasn’t going to turn itself off, and it was also out of his reach from the bed. “Great way to start a morning.” he muttered as he dragged himself off the bed.

Sandalphon shuffled over to his phone and turned off the alarm before stumbling into the bathroom to get ready for work.

 

For a Saturday morning, it wasn’t too bad. The birds were singing loudly in the trees as he walked to the cafe. Tied to the tree outside of Cafe Ambrosia was the tiny, red puffball that was Gran’s pomeranian, Vyrn. As soon as Sandalphon came into view, the puffball excitedly tugged at his leash, barking happily.

Vyrn jumped, desperately trying to hop onto Sandalphon as soon as he crouched down, but the pomeranian was too short and his leash wasn’t long enough. He huffed indignantly until Sandalphon scooted closer to scratch his chin, after which he proceeded to happily slobber all over Sandalphon’s hand. “Morning, dumbass.”

Sandalphon gave Vyrn a final pat on the head before entering the cafe. The door jingled softly, and the tall blond man behind the counter looked up. “Morning, Raphael,” he greeted, as he squeezed past the man to wash his hands in the sink. “Ah, Lucifer’s going to be away for two weeks.”

Raphael grunted in response, not looking up from stocking the pastry display. Sandalphon dried his hands on a clean dishcloth, watching Raphael work. Although Michael was just as stern as Raphael in terms of how she managed the cafe employees, Sandalphon found that Raphael has a colder demeanor.  _You really don’t say much, do you?_ he mused to himself as he wiped his hands dry.

Gran popped out of the kitchen with a tray of pastries in his arms. “Morning, Sandalphon! Did Vyrn behave himself?”

Sandalphon looked up from pouring himself a large black coffee. “Morning.” he mumbled back. “That slobbery ball of fluff outside? Yeah.”

Gran was Djeeta’s twin brother, but Sandalphon couldn’t figure out who was the eldest. The last time he asked them during a rare shared shift, they both ended up bickering for an hour and left Sandalphon no closer to getting an answer, so he gave up trying.

Gran happily carried the tray over to Raphael to help stock the display. Unlike Djeeta, Gran preferred to work the bulk of his hours during the weekends. He gave Sandalphon a curious look as he slid the tray of brownies into the display. “Coffee before you even start? Did you even eat breakfast yet?”

Sandalphon glanced up from his cup. “Gran. I’m not even human before I’ve had three large coffees in me.”

He locked eyes with Gran and took a long swig of his coffee. “Man, I can’t believe you can drink that black,” Gran stared at the dark circles under Sandalphon’s eyes. “You know what? You should just get an IV bag full of coffee hooked up to you instead.”

“I wish.”

Gran laughed as he finished up helping Raphael with the pastry display. “SANDALPHON!” A thunderous voice called out from the staff lounge. “YOU’RE EARLY!”

Sandalphon cringed at the sound. The cafe’s baker was far too cheerful than anyone had any right to be this early in the morning. Especially for someone who woke up at the ass crack of dawn to bake everything for the cafe. “Morning, Uriel.”

He suddenly felt very large and extremely muscular arms wrap around him and lift him off the ground. Sandalphon struggled not to drop his coffee. “GOOD MORNING!” the buff, baker boomed.

“Please… let... go of me,” Sandalphon squeaked. Uriel was always way too loud way too early in the morning. “I can’t breathe.”

“SORRY!”

Uriel laughed boisterously and deposited him back on the ground, giving a hearty slap to Sandalphon’s back. He stumbled,nearly dropping his coffee. “ALRIGHT! I’M OFF! TAKE CARE!”

“Yep!” Gran chirped.

“Y-yeah…” mumbled Sandalphon as he drained the rest of his coffee, his ears still ringing from Uriel’s voice.

He shook the empty cup a few times absently before going back to the coffee pot to refill it. “Really, Sandalphon?” Gran asked in disbelief.

“Like I said, Gran. I’m not even human before cup three. This is cup number two.”

Gran sighed, shaking his head. “All that caffeine can’t possibly be good for your heart,” Gran looked up from turning the tablets on. “Oh yeah, Djeeters says you need to apologize to Lyria.”

Sandalphon made a face as he drained his second cup of coffee. “Why?” he asked dryly.

“She said you were a butt to her yesterday,” replied Gran. “And to be honest, you are a huge butt most times.”

“What.”

“Anyway, just make sure you apologize to her properly when you see her, okay?”

Sandalphon scowled as he refilled his cup for the third time, but he didn’t say anything in response. Instead, he went into the staff lounge to get ready for his shift.

\--------

For once, they didn’t have any customers trying to barge into the cafe while they were finishing up their opening duties. However, the moment they opened the doors, they were absolutely swamped with orders. Gran manned the register, rapidly taking down orders and fulfilling pastry orders, while Sandalphon made all the coffee orders.

Gran looked over at the coffee station to check up on Sandalphon. There really was something poetic about how Sandalphon moved around as he completed each step for half a dozen drinks simultaneously. Gran had started working for the cafe before Sandalphon, but Sandalphon had the processes down to timed perfection without even breaking a sweat.

However, although Sandalphon was certainly the quickest between the two when it came to making coffee, he severely lacked the patience to handle difficult customers. Which was why Gran constantly volunteered to work the register whenever they worked the same shift. Gran simply didn’t trust Sandalphon to not throttle idiot customers at the register, and considering how that had nearly happened several times before, that was probably one of the best ideas he had.

Gran jumped when Raphael put his hand on his shoulder, signalling for him to go take his break. As he headed towards the break room to drop off his apron, Gran saw Djeeta and Lyria wave from outside of the cafe. He waved back, and after he put away the apron, joined them outside to play with Vyrn.

Vyrn ran around in circles, barking happily as Gran refilled his water bowl and put out some kibbles for him. “Vee! You’re so fluffy!” Lyria cooed as she pet the wiggly pomeranian.

“Yeah,” Gran scratched his nose. “The vet says that we’re giving him too many treats, though. So we need to take him out on more walks. That’s why I brought him to work today.”

Djeeta frowned, planting her hands on her hips. “You mean,  _you’ve_ been giving him too many treats!”

Gran laughed. “Aw, come on. Look at him? How can I not?”

As if on cue, Vyrn looked up from his meal, cocked his head, and wagged his curly tail. Lyria giggled and put her hand up. “High five, Vee!”

The pomeranian lifted up his front paw and tried to tap Lyria’s hand before losing balance and tipping over. The three of them laughed and Lyria gave him a belly rub. Djeeta looked up and noticed the line of customers had died down. “Wanna head inside?”

“Yeah!” Lyria jumped up, spooking Vyrn. “Oh no! I’m sorry, Vee!”

She gave him a final, apologetic pat on the head before the three of them entered the cafe. “I’m definitely taking him on a walk during my lunch. I’ll just take a sandwich with me or something.”

\--------

Sandalphon was sitting slouched in a chair he had dragged over near the counter, taking a break after the morning rush, when he spotted Djeeta, Gran, and Lyria enter. He waved weakly at them as they approached, too exhausted to move much. Gran headed towards the staff lounge to grab his apron, while Djeeta and Lyria made their way towards Sandalphon.

Lyria went bounding over to him happily opening up her journal for him to see. “Look! It’s Lucifer!” she beamed.

Sandalphon leaned forward to get a better look. A smirk broke out on his face. “How is that Lucifer? His smile is much more serene, and his hair is more like spun silver,” he tapped the drawing with the back of his hand. “You couldn’t even capture a fraction of his full radiance,” Sandalphon scoffed. “And you call yourself an artist?”

He immediately regretted his words when Lyria burst into tears. Realizing that he overdid the teasing, he opened his mouth to apologize, but he closed his mouth when he couldn’t figure out what to say. “ _SANDALPHON!_ ” Djeeta glared at him as she quickly began to steer Lyria into the restroom.

Gran peeked out from the staff lounge just in time to see Djeeta slam the restroom door closed, Lyria’s crying echoing off the tile walls. Sandalphon lowered his head. He didn’t need to look up to know that Gran was disappointed in him too. “You were supposed to apologize to her, not make her cry…”

Sandalphon let his gaze linger on the journal that Lyria had dropped on the floor when Djeeta ushered her into the restroom.  _Come to think of it, she didn’t order yet._ He quietly picked it up and set it gently on a table before heading over to the espresso machine.

Gran watched silently as Sandalphon prepped the drink, and poured everything into the blender. As the machine whirred away, a thought occurred to Sandalphon and he slinked off into the kitchen. He did a quick sweep of the kitchen to see what was available, finding a few bottles of sprinkles and crystal sugar in one of the cabinets, which he slipped into his apron pocket, and a moon-shaped sugar cookie, which he carried back out carefully in his hand.

The blender was finished by the time Sandalphon returned to the coffee station. He quickly poured the mixture into a parfait glass, topping it off with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. Satisfied with it, Sandalphon nudged a straw through the ice cream before sticking the edge of the sugar cookie into the ice cream. He quickly washed his hands before retrieving the whipped cream, and with an impressive amount of control, he proceeded to surround the ice cream and cookie in a cloud of whipped cream.

Sandalphon fished out the bottle of blue sanding sugar from his apron, dusting the whipped cream with it. He was adding the final touches with a few shakes from the bottle of star-shaped sprinkles when Djeeta and Lyria came out of the restroom. Sandalphon watched guiltily as Djeeta led Lyria to an empty table. Lyria had stopped crying, but her eyes were still puffy and red.

He quietly plated two pieces of brownies, setting them and the impressive drink onto a tray with a spoon, and carrying it carefully over to their table. Djeeta glared at him as he approached, but her expression quickly softened when she noticed the tray’s content. Sandalphon set the tray down onto the table in front of Lyria and coughed awkwardly. “Sorry… I overdid it and made you cry,” he gestured at the concoction and looked away in embarrassment. “I, uh… I made this drink for you. I- I’m thinking about naming it after you because it’s very su-” he bit his lip. “Because it’s very sweet. And blue. Um… like you.”

Lyria gasped as she took in the sight of the concoction. “W-w-woah! Y-y-you made this?”

He nodded nervously. Her face brightened up. “Thank-you!”

She began rifling through her purse, when he stopped her. “Ah… it’s on me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Y-yeah… I was a big jerk,” he gestured at the tray again. “I hope it tastes alright.”

Lyria beamed as she picked up the spoon, ready to dig in, when she suddenly paused for a moment, looking back up at Sandalphon. She quietly opened up her journal and carefully tore out the drawing of Lucifer. “I know you’re feeling really lonely because Lucifer’s not around,” she handed the picture to  him. “Th-that’s why I tried my best to draw him for you, so you won’t feel sad,” her shoulders drooped. “I’m sorry I didn’t do a good job of drawing him.”

“N-no. You’re really good at drawing,” Sandalphon lowered his head. Knowing that she had drawn the picture for him made him feel even shittier.

“Really?”

Sandalphon nodded. “Yeah. I’m gonna put this away in my locker to keep it safe.”

As he headed back to the staff break room, a smile teased at his lips when he heard Lyria exclaim loudly, “W-w-w-woah! It’s yummy!”

Opening the door to his locker, he looked down at the drawing one more time.  _I’ll wait until I have my bookbag to take it home._

Sandalphon’s eyes bugged out when he took a closer look at the picture. Lyria hadn’t just drawn Lucifer, she had drawn Lucifer  _holding hands_ with him. He quickly and carefully shoved the picture into the locker, slamming it shut.  _Yeah, I’m gonna have to take that home before Lucifer gets back…_

   
The rest of the afternoon was fairly uneventful. Djeeta and Lyria worked on homework as they snacked, eventually leaving to catch a movie together while Sandalphon swept the cafe’s interior and Gran cleaned all the tables inside. Sandalphon bit his lip as he put the broom away. Gran’s lunch break was coming up soon, and that would leave Sandalphon alone to clean the tables outside. Gran rinsed out the dish rag in the sink and cleared his throat loudly. “I can stick around for a bit while you clean the tables,” Gran turned off the faucet. “Y’know, in case that creep comes back.”

Sandalphon blinked in surprise. “Y-yeah, that’d be great.”

Gran passed the dish towel to Sandalphon, grinning. “Just let me grab a sandwich real quick.”

“Shit. I could’ve thrown one in the oven for you.”

Gran shook his head. “I like it better cold.”

“Freak.” Sandalphon scoffed.

“Djeeters says that too,” Gran paused, eyeing the baked goods display. “Hey, you think it’s okay if I grab one of those too?”

Sandalphon shrugged. “Consider it my treat.”

Gran wrapped a piece of brownie in wax paper. “Sweet!”

The door jingled softly as Sandalphon pushed it open. He slowly poked his head out, looking up and down the sidewalk before letting out a sigh of relief when he saw no one walking around. He immediately started clearing the trash off the tables while Gran made his way over to where Vyrn was tied.

The pomeranian huffed and whined as soon as he caught the scent of Gran’s lunch. Gran set the brownie down on the table and unwrapped his sandwich. Vyrn began pawing at Gran’s leg, whining pitifully. “No, buddy. I already fed you earlier. No. I  _said_ no!”

Sandalphon laughed as he sprayed down a table and started wiping it down, feeling less anxious with Gran sitting there. Vyrn didn’t seem to be letting up, alternating between pawing at Gran’s leg and attempting to climb his leg with little success. Gran tried to lift his leg away, but Vyrn persisted. “I thought I said no!”

As Sandalphon moved to another table, he witnessed Vyrn switch up his tactics. The pomeranian stopped pawing at Gran’s leg and sank right into the ground, ears drooping, with his eyes looking up at Gran. A soft, pitiful whine escaped from the puddle of fluff. “Aw  _come on_ , Vyrn. You’re not playing fair!” Gran cried.

Vyrn kept up the pitiful act and Gran eventually cracked, tearing out a piece of chicken from his sandwich and tossing it to Vyrn, who happily gobbled it down. Sandalphon laughed. “Whipped by your own pet, huh?”

“You don’t understand!” Gran whined. “When he gives me that look, it makes me feel like I’m bullying him!”

Sandalphon crouched down and poked Vyrn’s side gently with a finger. The pomeranian didn’t react. “He’s starting to get a little chubby, isn’t he?” He gave Vyrn a good scratch on his head. “One day, you’re gonna end up more fat than fluff. You hear me?”

Vyrn sneezed in response, shaking his tiny head. Gran frowned. “Well… that was why I brought him to work with me. Vet says he’s starting to get fat, so I was gonna walk him on my break.”

“Well, I’m done now,” Sandalphon wiped his hands dry on his apron. “Thanks for sticking around for part of your break. I owe you one.”

Gran shook his head as he untied Vyrn from the tree. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure you’d do the same for my sis.”

“Yeah…”

Gran headed off down the sidewalk, waving at Sandalphon as he tugged a reluctant pomeranian along. “I’ll be back as soon as I drop this dumbass off at home!”

Sandalphon waved back, waiting for Gran to disappear from his view before he went back into the cafe. As he pulled the door open, he felt a chill down his spine. Sandalphon paused, peeking over his shoulder, but there was no one around.  _Why’s it feel like someone’s watching him?_

He walked into the cafe and nearly jumped out of his skin at the sight of Raphael standing stoically like a mannequin at the register.  _Oh, that’s probably why._ Sandalphon sighed in relief. The man hardly made a sound, preferring to stand silently and only speaking when he felt the need to. It got to the point where he’d become practically invisible.

Raphael nodded as he got closer to the counter. “Business appears to have slowed down,” he hefted two boxes onto his shoulders. “Our supplier delivered the wrong order, so I’ll entrust the cafe to you while I go exchange these for the correct order.”

Sandalphon almost forgot the man even had a voice. “O-okay.”

“Call me if anything happens.”

Sandalphon nodded as he watched Raphael leave.  _Well, there’s not much left to do. The cafe’s completely empty right now too._ he mused to himself.

He started washing the dishes in the sink when the door jingled open again.  _Huh, that’s fast._

Sandalphon turned around and realized it was a customer instead of Raphael. He quickly set the dishes back down in the sink and washed his hands. “Welcome to Cafe Ambrosia! I’ll be right with you!” He shouted as he dried his hands on a clean towel before returning to the customer.

He squinted at the well-dressed customer standing in front of him.  _Why does he look so familiar?_

The customer glanced down at Sandalphon’s name tag at his chest. “Oooo ‘Sandy,’ huh? Cute name.”

 _That voice… it was that horny bastard that felt me up yesterday!_ Sandalphon pointed at him, finger shaking. “ _YOU!_ ”

The man licked his lips. “Oh? You recognize me? That makes me so happy!”

“ _Get out_.” Sandalphon spat.

The customer frowned. “Is that how you treat your customers?”

Sandalphon desperately wished he wasn’t alone in the cafe, but Raphael had left and he wasn’t going to be back any time soon. “You’re not buying anything, so get out.”

“Oh, really?” A toothy, predatory smile spread across his face. “And how did you decide that?”

Sandalphon crossed his arms, grinning smugly. “You’re not exactly ordering anything.”

“Is that so? Well then, are  _you_ on the menu?” he punctuated his question with a wink.

The customer was seriously making his skin crawl. Sandalphon gritted his teeth. “ _No_. I’m.  _Not_.”

“Are you so sure about that?” the customer leaned in closer as he pointed towards the pastry display case. “Might wanna take a closer look there, Sandy.”

Sandalphon reluctantly turned to look at where he was pointing. The moment his eyes landed onto the sign, his face blanched, eyes nearly popping out of their sockets. Above a display of delicate-looking cookies was a sign with Raphael’s austere handwriting reading “Pecan Sandies.”

_OF ALL THE DAMNED DAYS URIEL COULD’VE MADE THOSE COOKIES!_

“H-how many?” Sandalphon managed to force out.

“Just the one.” Another wink. “For here.”

Sandalphon cursed inwardly and quickly plated the cookie. “Will that be all?”

“And a white mocha, too, pretty please.  _Large_.”

 _GOD, WHY DOES THIS BASTARD HAVE TO SAY EVERYTHING SO SEXUALLY?_ Sandalphon cried internally as he scribbled the order onto the paper cup. “Whip?”

“Oooooh you’ll do that?”

 _NO WE DON’T, YOU HORNY FUCKER!_ Sandalphon wanted to scream. Instead, he gritted his teeth and repeated, “Whipped cream?”

“ _Extra_.”

“I’ll need your name?”

“Thought you’d never ask. It’s Belial,” The customer licked his lips before flashing a toothy grin. “I hope you remember it, because you’ll be screaming that later.”

 _I think not._ Sandalphon thought as he scribbled “Dick Face” onto the cup.

Belial paid for his order and sauntered over to the bar seating with his cookie, selecting the spot closest to the counter to watch Sandalphon. Sandalphon’s frown deepened. He could feel Belial’s eyes on him as he started working on the drink.  _Just ignore him. Make the drink like usual. Just imagine he’s one of those customers that watch you the entire time to catch you making some kind of dumb mistake so they can claim a free drink or some shit._

Sandalphon started pumping white chocolate syrup into the cup when he heard Belial moan loudly behind him. Sandalphon cautiously pumped the syrup again, and once again a loud moan spilled from the customer’s lips followed by heavy panting. He nervously turned his head.  _Dear god, I hope he’s not masturbating. Please don’t be masturbating. I really don’t want to deal with that right now._

Thankfully, Belial wasn’t masturbating, but the moment their eyes met, he grinned. “That syrup’s color and consistency…” he slid his tongue over the cookie in his hand. “Are you thinking of me as you’re squeezing it all out? How sweet.”

“Wha-” Sandalphon froze, his eyes darting back and forth between the cup in his hands and Belial when realization dawned on him, his ears turning bright red.

“Ooooooo! That’s a nice reaction!” Belial laughed. “ _Don’t tell me_ , you’re a  _virgin_?”

Sandalphon quickly pumped one more shot of the syrup before throwing it under the espresso machine. He just wanted it to be over with. He hastily stirred the drink together before finishing it off with the extra whipped cream and popping a lid on top. Sandalphon briskly walked over to the bar and slammed the drink down in front of Belial, fuming. “Here’s your damn drink!”

A salacious grin spread across Belial’s face as he looked down at the drink. The force from slamming the drink down had caused the lid to pop off, and some of the whipped cream and mocha had sloshed out onto his hand. “So excited that you’ve made a mess all over your hand, hmm?  _Cute_.”

Sandalphon shrieked and booked it to the staff break room. Other customers be damned. There’s a bell on the counter anyway.

 

When Raphael returned, he found Sandalphon huddled under a table in the staff lounge rocking back and forth on his heels. “THE FUCKER CAME BACK!”

 _I thought I instructed you to call me if anything happened._ Raphael knit his brows. “What did he look like?”

“HE HAD A STUPID FACE WITH STUPID EYES, A STUPID NOSE, AND A STUPID MOUTH!” he cried.

Raphael pursed his lips. That wasn’t much to go by. “Will you be able to draw him?”

He handed the shaking barista a notepad and pen, watching as he rapidly sketched him out. Raphael frowned at the drawing, unsure how accurate the sketch will be to the security patrols. “I will make sure to pass this onto security so they can be on the lookout for him,” he looked at Sandalphon in concern. “Stay here until you feel better. You won’t be docked pay. I’ll be in the front of you need me.”

Sandalphon nodded, still rocking back and forth underneath the table. Assured that the barista was fine, Raphael made his way back to the front of the cafe, drawing in hand.

He frowned, looking the sketch over in his hand.  _The perpetrator is a gorilla?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The POV shift to Gran is pretty awkward, but I wanted to keep it for pomeranian Vyrn.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sandalphon is very bad at dealing with customers. Gran and Djeeta have the receipts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gran and Djeeta are both younger than Sandalphon, but they are somehow more mature and responsible than him.

Sandalphon bit his lip as he carried the tray over to Belial, avoiding eye contact as much as possible. He quickly set the drink down and spun around on his heels to retreat behind the counter, when he felt a hand wrap around his wrist in a vice grip. “Let go!”

Belial leered. “Aw come on. I ordered a Sandy, didn’t I?”

“IT’S ON YOUR PLATE! NOW LET GO!” Sandalphon shouted as he tried to pull himself out of his grip.

“Is that so? _Do show me_ _where_.”

“IT’S RIGHT _THERE!_ ” Sandalphon moved to point at the plate, but he faltered when he looked down at the table. There was only the cup sitting in front of Belial, with no plate in sight. “But… I handed it to you…”

“Well, you charged me for one,” Belial’s voice took on a predatory tone. “I’m not leaving until I’m served a Sandy.”

He took advantage of Sandalphon’s shock, yanking him into his lap. “ _See?_ Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

Sandalphon quickly snapped out of his daze, struggling to free himself. He twisted his body to face the staff lounge, shouting as loudly as he could. Belial chuckled. “Oh, you’re _too cute_.  Did you forget we’re _alone_?” He slid one hand down Sandalphon’s waist. “There’s _no one_ there to hear you.”

“Fuck you!” Sandalphon managed to wrench his hand out of Belial’s grip, only for him to tighten his grip around his waist. “Lucifer!”

Belial tutted. “Oh, _he’s_ not here either. Or did you already forget that he’s busy traipsing around South America?”

Sandalphon faltered. “How did you…?”

At that moment, the cafe doors suddenly opened, filling the cafe brilliant light. They both threw up their arms to shield their eyes. Upon noticing that Belial’s hands were not longer on him, Sandalphon quickly darted away from Belial. A voice came out from the light. “Sandalphon.”

Sandalphon’s heart skipped a beat, recognizing the voice. The light dimmed back to normal, just in time for him to see Lucifer at the entrance of the cafe. “L-Lucifer? What are you-”

Lucifer was garbed entirely in white from head to toe in a sharp suit covered in delicate silver embroidery. As he entered the cafe, the sound of hooves striking the hardwood floor could be heard. Sandalphon blinked. Lucifer was riding a goddamned white horse into the cafe. It whinnied as it came to a stop in front of him. “Sandalphon,” Lucifer repeated. “I sensed your distress, so I have returned sooner.”

“But… how?” Sandalphon could hardly believe what was happening. “You were in South America! There’s no way you could’ve flown back already! And what's with the horse?!”

Lucifer drew closer to Sandalphon, reaching out to brush his hair out of his face. It took everything for him not to lean into Lucifer’s touch. “For you, I would move mountains.”

 _Uh… that doesn’t make any sense, and that still didn’t answer any of my questions, but alright._ He could barely form sentences. He was too enthralled by Lucifer’s radiance.

“Um, excuse me?” Belial piped up behind Lucifer. “This is romantic and all, but that still doesn’t change the fact that he’s mine. I ordered and paid for him,” Sandalphon shivered as Belial licked his lips. “And I have no intention of leaving without him.”

Lucifer countenance darkened as he turned to face Belial, his face somehow retaining its ethereal beauty despite the apparent disgust in his expression. “Begone, _filth_!”

With that, the white horse lifted up its rear legs, and with a powerful kick, sent Belial flying out of the cafe doors screaming. As soon as Belial cleared the doors, they slammed shut, leaving just Lucifer and Sandalphon in the cafe.

Oh yeah, and his horse.

Lucifer turned to face Sandalphon again, riding in closer. “I’m sorry I was not there for you in your time of distress…” With that, he swept Sandalphon up and seated him sidesaddle in front of him in one smooth motion. “Allow me to make it up to you.”

Sandalphon blinked in confusion, his heart beating rapidly as he gazed up to look into Lucifer’s eyes. “L-Lucifer…”

Lucifer stroked his face gently. “Sandalphon…”

Sandalphon could barely breathe as Lucifer leaned in closer, cupping his chin in his hand. “If you would have me…” He could feel Lucifer’s breath on his face. Sandalphon wanted to look away or close his eyes in embarrassment, but he found it too difficult to tear his eyes away from Lucifer’s gaze. “I wish to make you my…”

Lucifer pressed his thumb against Sandalphon’s lower lip, smiling serenely as Sandalphon’s breath hitched. He leaned in closer, lips parted, and loud beeps spilled out from his lips.

Sandalphon jumped up startled in his bed, the alarm on his phone beeping obnoxiously from his nightstand. “WHAT THE FUCK.”

 

Sandalphon felt like death warmed over. He could barely feel the caffeine’s effects, despite having downed his usual three cups before they opened. It didn’t help his mood at all when they were immediately swamped the moment the cafe’s doors opened. In the middle of the morning rush, Gran was pulled away from the register to clean up a large spill near the door, leaving Sandalphon to manage both the register and coffee station alone. A middle-aged customer barking her order at him wasn’t making things any easier either. “LARGE LATTE. NO MILK.”

“So that’s a large latte with soy milk?” Sandalphon clarified, trying his best to ignore her tone.

“NO.”

Sandalphon frowned. “So almond milk instead?”

“OH MY GOD, YOU MILLENIALS ARE WHAT’S WRONG WITH SOCIETY. DID YOU EVEN LISTEN TO WHAT I SAID AT ALL? I SAID, NO MILK!”

He clenched his fists until his knuckles were white, glaring at the woman. Before he could open his mouth to retort, Gran quickly yanked him into the kitchen by the back of his shirt. Sandalphon tried to protest when Gran shushed him. “Please don’t murder our customers because they’re dumb, Sandalphon!” Gran gasped out. He had clearly sprinted over to the register the moment the customer opened her mouth. “I get how you feel, but that’s still illegal! Don’t worry, I’ll take care of her order. Just…” Gran glanced over at the spare coffee pot on the kitchen counter and pointed at it. “Just get some more coffee in you before you go back out, okay?”

Sandalphon frowned. “But-”

Gran shook his head, jabbing his finger toward the coffee pot. “Caffeine!” Sandalphon opened his mouth to argue, but Gran shook his head again. “Nope! You’re not allowed up front until you’ve put another cup of coffee into you!”

Seeing that Gran wasn’t budging, and he didn’t want the lines to back up even more, Sandalphon grudgingly agreed. Gran didn’t head back to the front until he saw that Sandalphon had poured himself a cup of coffee and planted himself onto a chair. He grumbled quietly to himself as he downed the drink as quickly as he could before rejoining Gran in the front.

Sandalphon was silently thankful that the horny bastard didn’t show up all morning.

 

Once the morning rush ended, Michael came out of the office. She wore a fiercer expression on her face than usual as she stared down Gran and Sandalphon. “Whatever happens, I don’t want either of you to be in the cafe alone today,” she cast a glance at Sandalphon. “Especially you.”

Sandalphon gritted his teeth. “Y-yeah.”

Michael relaxed her face. “I won’t leave the cafe today. I will be in the office all day, however,” she rubbed her temples. “I need to finish up some paperwork… ah, which reminds me,” she turned towards Gran. “Gran, fill out your time card. Do you not wish to be paid?”

“Oh shit, yeah.” Gran grinned sheepishly.

Michael sighed. “Very well then, I will be in the office if either of you need me. Make sure to come get me if anything happens.”

Satisfied when both of them nodded their heads, she headed to the back of the staff lounge. Gran looked over at Sandalphon, nudging him with his elbow. “Hopefully that creep doesn’t come back today?”

Sandalphon frowned. “I’d be happier if he’d just drop dead.”

As the two of them returned to the front, Djeeta and Lyria entered the cafe, carrying their school bags. “Mornin’!”

“Hi, Gran! Hi, Sandalphon!” Lyria greeted the two of them cheerfully, as she deposited her bag on the table closest to the counter.

“Your usual?” asked Gran.

Lyria shook her head. “I want the ‘Lyria’ today!” she exclaimed, eyes sparkling.

Sandalphon snorted as he went into the kitchen to grab what he needed for the drink. “Right, one ‘Girl in Blue,’ coming right up.”

Gran raised an eyebrow. “How do you even ring that up?”

Sandalphon stopped at the register on the way back to the coffee station and pointed at the tablet screen. “Large blended mocha, extra whip, extra syrup, ice cream add on, and a sugar cookie.”

As usual, Lyria was pressed up against the glass barrier, watching eagerly as Sandalphon assembled her drink. “W-w-whoa! It’s so pretty!”

He grinned smugly as he placed it onto the tray. “Of course it looks good. I made it.”

Djeeta rolled her eyes. “Right, Mr. Asshole.”

Sandalphon shot her a glare, but she simply glared back at him with her arms crossed. Lyria didn’t seem to notice. “What’s the pastry of the day today?”

Gran peered over to the pastry display. “Uh… hold on… uh… earl grey sables, I think?”

“I’ll take two!”

Djeeta went with a latte and a double chocolate brownie. Sandalphon raised an eyebrow. “What, Lyria’s not sweet enough, so you have to get more sugar?”

Djeeta scoffed as she paid. “You could probably use some sweetness, considering how Gran said you almost murdered a customer today.”

Sandalphon sputtered, staring at Gran, who held up his phone. “Ahahaha yeah, I text her everything.”

“Well? What’d she do?” Djeeta grinned, leaning onto the counter. “Gimme the deets.”

“She wanted a latte with no milk.” Sandalphon muttered.

“That’s it?”

Sandalphon sighed. “She didn’t want soy milk or almond milk.”

“Wait.”

“Yes.”

“But-”

“ _Yes._ ”

Djeeta covered her face in her hands. “Okay, you got me there. She probably deserved it.”

“Hmph,” Sandalphon pointed his thumb at Gran. “Mr. Goody Two Shoes here stopped me though.”

“I STOPPED YOU FROM COMMITTING A CRIME!” cried Gran incredulously.

Lyria burst out laughing. “I don’t think Sandalphon would’ve done anything to her.”

“Lyria…” Djeeta pointed her thumb at Sandalphon. “We’re talking about the guy who threw a cup of hot coffee at a customer because the customer lied about it being too cold.”

Sandalphon crossed his arms. “That was _one_ time. Besides, it just proved that he lied about it being cold to get a free drink.”

“He also literally threw a customer out of the cafe, and he almost got hit by a bicyclist who happened to be coming through at the same time.” Gran added helpfully.

“He tried to steal the tip jar! Right after someone tipped us $50!”

“I was more surprised at how quick Sandalphon jumped over the counter and grabbed the guy.” Djeeta laughed. “He was so shocked, he dropped the jar, but Sandalphon just kept dragging him to the door and chucked him out. Oh! What about the kid you tied to the tree outside?”

“He was being a little brat.”

Gran slumped onto the counter. “Really, Sandalphon? A _kid_?!”

“He told me to go fuck myself when I told him to stop dumping the cream onto the counter. His parents weren’t around and I’m not his fucking babysitter.”

“So you tied him to the tree outside? Like a dog?”

“To be honest, I think that was probably the best outcome,” said Djeeta in between sips of her latte. “It turned out the kid’s parents decided we were a daycare, so they dropped the kid off here before going shopping, which was why we couldn’t find them to begin with. They got mad that Sandalphon tied him to a tree, but they dropped it when Michael helpfully offered to call the police on them for child neglect.”

“I-I guess…” sighed Gran.

Djeeta tapped the table absently. “What else? Oh, there was that time he almost choked a customer, too.”

Sandalphon frowned. “Which one?”

Gran dragged his hands down his face. “Sandalphon… the fact that you’re asking, ‘Which one?’ means you’ve done that more times than you should.”

Djeeta slammed her hand onto the counter, startling Lyria and Gran. “ _That’s right!_ There was that one time during morning rush where a customer cut in line, but no one wanted to say anything, so when she got to the front of the line, Sandalphon called her out on it and told her he wasn’t going to take her order until she went to the back of the line!” she started laughing at the memory. “She refused to move and just put her hands on her hips looking at him expectantly, so Sandalphon was all ‘Fine!’ filled a cup with water from the sink and threw it at her and told her to fuck off!”

Gran groaned. “I remember that. I had to go mop up the mess he made.”

“Well, what else was I supposed to do? _Let_ her cut?” Sandalphon scowled. “She wasn’t budging and the line was getting longer.”

“Oh yeah! Expired coupon!” Djeeta gasped in between bouts of laughter. “Lucifer handed out a bunch of them for the cafe’s grand opening. They were for a free pastry or coffee, I think?”

Gran nodded. “Free pastry if you buy a coffee. You were allowed to pick any pastry too, even the expensive ones, but the coupons were only good for the grand opening.”

“Yeah! So three months after the grand opening, this guy comes in demanding to get his free pastry. He must’ve had the worst luck or something because if it was Lucifer at the register, he might’ve honored the coupon and given the guy the pastry, but _no_ , he got _Sandalphon_ at the register!”

“Lucifer’s too kind to all those dumbasses. They don’t even deserve his kindness.” Sandalphon mumbled.

“Anyway, they argue back and forth for a really long time.”

“23 minutes!” Gran piped up.

“So they argue back and forth for 23 minutes with neither side letting up, and the guy was demanding that Sandalphon honor the coupon,” Djeeta paused, trying to catch her breath from all the laughing. “S-so Sandalphon just reaches over the counter and tears the coupon out of his hands and just rips it up to shreds in front of the guy. A-and he was all, ‘What coupon?’” Djeeta burst into renewed laughter.

Lyria’s jaw dropped. “Y-you d-did all that?”

Djeeta wiped away her tears of laughter before picking up the tray of snacks and drinks, and carrying it back to their table. “Oh, you didn’t start coming by yet, but he’s so bad at dealing with customers.”

The door jingled as it opened. Gran and Sandalphon jumped to attention. “Welcome to Cafe Ambrosia!”

“Oh, there’s no need for that. It’s just me!” The pink-haired woman beamed at them. “Is Michael in?”

“Gabriel!” Gran grinned. “Yeah, she’s in the office.”

“Wonderful! I hope she’s done with payroll.”

Gran jumped at that and ran into the staff lounge. “Ah shit. I need to do my time card!”

Gabriel smiled gently. “I suppose I can wait for him to do that before I go bother Michael.”

Sandalphon handed her a cup. “Ah, thank-you,” she peered into his face. “Sandalphon, are you all right?”

“Huh?”

She took a sip before continuing. “Michael and Raphael told me about the incidents these past two days.”

“O-oh… yeah. I gave Raphael a drawing of the bastard yesterday and he said he handed it over to security.”

“Good.” A scary expression crossed Gabriel’s face. Sandalphon shrunk back. He had never seen her so angry before. “If he comes back, he better hope I’m not around, or I’ll rip out his dick, you hear?”

Sandalphon nodded, feeling slightly sorry for Belial for a brief second. _On second thought, he deserves to get his dick ripped off._

Gabriel’s face softened again. “I’ll talk to Michael and see if we can’t fit security cameras into the budget,” she looked up from her cup when Gran came back from the staff break room. “Ah, finished? Alright, I’ll go see Michael now. Take care now, you two!”

  
Business slowed down after noon, so Sandalphon took the time to review some of his notes behind the register. Gran was on his break, spending it at Djeeta’s and Lyria’s table while they worked on their homework. Lyria looked like she was struggling with something, so both Gran and Djeeta were trying to explain the concept to her. The cafe door opened with a gentle jingle, so Sandalphon quickly shoved his notes under the counter before straightening up. “Welcome to Cafe-”

“Sandy!~”

Sandalphon made eye contact with Djeeta and Lyria, a worried expression on his face. Djeeta seemed to catch his message and quietly whispered to Lyria to pack up her things before ushering a confused Lyria into the staff break room. Gran immediately bolted for the office to retrieve Michael.

Sandalphon turned back towards Belial, frowning deeply. “Please just leave.”

Belial leaned into the counter. “Oh? Is that how you treat paying customers? I think you might need to go back for some training.”

“You’re not paying.”

“I would, but a _certain cashier_ isn’t taking my order.”

Sandalphon gritted his teeth. “How can I help you?”

“Hmmm… try again. It’s ‘How can I _serve_ you?’”

“How can I help you?” Sandalphon repeated, spitting out each syllable.

“Say, Sandy, are you off soon?”

“I just started.” he lied.

Belial frowned in disappointment. “Pity. We could’ve had some fun…” his face suddenly lit up. “Ooooo how about your break? Going on your break soon? 15 minutes will be a slight challenge, but I’ll guarantee you I can take you to heaven and back in that time.”

Sandalphon shuddered in disgust when Belial winked at him to punctuate his last proposition. “If you’re not buying anything, leave. _Now_.”

Belial pouted. “Harsh. Got any recommendations, then?”

 _What’s taking Gran so long?_ Sandalphon just wanted all of this to be over now. “Heavenly Brew, our house blend, is my favorite.”

“Hmmm… if you say so. I’ll take a large.”

Sandalphon was slightly thankful there was an entire counter between him and the customer. He grabbed a large cup, filled it, and grabbed a lid for the coffee before returning to the counter. As he was handing the cup over to Belial, he realized he forgot something. “Shit. Did you want room for cream?”

“Oh, _yes_.” Belial replied a little bit too sexually.

Before Sandalphon could move back to the coffee station to empty out part of the coffee, Belial leaned in and pulled him in closer by the shoulder. “ _Yours_.” he whispered in Sandalphon’s ear, licking his lips eagerly.

Sandalphon wordlessly discarded the lid and poured the coffee down Belial’s crotch without breaking eye contact.

 

“You can’t just do that to customers, Sandalphon!” scolded Gran. “Kick him out, or call the police!”

Michael stood by the staff lounge entrance, shaking her head. “I’ve notified the security patrol that he’s banned from the cafe and provided a photo of him to them, but…” Michael sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Sandalphon, although I also agree with you that his behavior was _appalling_ , and that he deserves to be neutered for the good of the community, be thankful that he didn’t decide to press charges.”

Sandalphon was curled up in a corner of the break room sobbing uncontrollably. “WHY DID HE HAVE TO MOAN?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Making eye contact with Belial as he dumped hot coffee on his crotch has to be Sandalphon's biggest mistake here.


	4. Bonus: Cafe Ambrosia's Yelp Reviews

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sandalphon's got shitty customer service skills. How does that reflect on the cafe's reviews?

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Cafe Ambrosia is my go-to when I’m craving good coffee. I usually get their house blend and drink it straight. I can’t really speak for the other stuff they serve because I don’t really get anything else, but you can’t go wrong with their coffee!

  


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We checked out this place on a Wednesday afternoon and was surprised that the place was kinda empty?

I ordered an iced coffee and my friend got a blended mocha.

Service was quick except for the fact that they gave me the wrong order. Iced coffee, not blended mocha, dumbass.

We stayed in the cafe for a couple of minutes then decided it would be safer if we walked outside.

Service - eh. Quality - yea. Come back next time - probably (although probably a little earlier in the day)

  


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No parking lot so you have to park on the street. Interior was nice but small and limited seating. There was not a lot of tables and seats not to mention they were all taken. The menu had a lot of choices of drinks so it might be overwhelming to someone who hasn’t been to Cafe Ambrosia before.

I ordered the blended cookies and cream drink because it sounded good. It took a few minutes before my drink was ready. The drink tasted different than what I would expect from a cookies and cream. Something about the flavor was off to me. Maybe the Oreos they used were off? I would recommend another drink and it might be better than the cookies and cream.

This place was just okay to me for coffee, but there were better places out there.

  


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Cute place, very limited parking. Wouldn’t recommend parking on the streets because the drivers are crazy!

Ordered the espresso because that’s my usual now. The barista really knows what’s he’s doing because it wasn’t overly bitter. He’s not really talkative though.

Service is quick and the place is clean.

  


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I have a love hate relationship with Cafe Ambrosia. The coffee’s great, but the staff here is… not great. Once I came in with my hands full (holding my keys, wallet and phone), I ordered two drinks and when I got them, I asked for a tray. The person who brought me my drinks rudely told me there’s a 10 cent charge. I didn’t have any change and he saw my struggle to carry out two coffees in addition to everything else I was holding. He didn’t even offer to help? Just watched me struggle all the way out.

  


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3.5 stars

Pros:

1) Great coffee!

2) Better than a chain

3) They make their own pastries

Cons:

1) Little to No parking

2) Service sucks

  


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They don’t do custom orders very well. I tried to get them to make my drink right and gave them all the right directions but it didn’t taste right. Tried to complain but the barista kept calling me a dumbass. How the hell does he still have a job with that attitude? I called to complain when I got home, but the barista keeps hanging up on me. This is no way to run a business

  


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Excellent coffee! Owner really knows his stuff and the cafe bakes all the pastries inhouse which is always a plus!

 

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Come for the coffee, stay for the show lol

The brunet that works there has some serious anger issues and picks fights with customers like every day.

  


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I love trying new indie cafes and I want to love this one

No thank you! First off the barista needs to learn some manners and be friendlier. He acted so annoyed at everything.

  


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Features:

-I really like how this place takes their time to make your drinks for you. This is my third time here and it never disappoints me.

\- They advertise a lot on being fair trade and organic with no artificial flavorings, making their menu stand out far better than the other coffee places nearby

\- Their pastries are homemade and they make it fresh every day!

Improvement:

-None

Tips:

-The house blend is really good

\- Don’t know what pastry to try? Go for their pastry of the day. The prices are cheaper so you can get a lot of their stuff without breaking bank.

\- Cash or credit cards accepted.

  


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Not the BEST spot to visit whenever it comes to coffee and aLL that other stuff but it is convenientLy Located near my apartment.

Long Lines are super annoying and peopLe aLmost never seem to know what they heck they want. Don’t bother coming here if youre absoluteLy dying of thirst or in a hurry!!

 

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The coffee is BOMB! Beware it gets SUPER busy sometimes so you have to wait longer. Price is AMAZING considering the quality. Minus one star because the barista was really rude.

 

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I’m not sure who the other reviews are talking about, but the brunet barista there is super friendly and always smiling? Anyway, I go here every time I’m in the area. Coffee’s great! I’ve been trying something new everytime I go there and I’m never disappointed! The baked stuff are yummy too!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had too much fun with this.
> 
> I asked my friend for bad customer service ideas for chapter 3, and she ended up providing more than I could squeeze into the chapter, so a few of them got converted into Yelp reviews.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic started off as a joke premise that I threw at my friends and then it wasn't. Now I'm deep in this hole I've dug myself and there's no saving me. It's also my first foray into writing fanfics. Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated!
> 
> So many thanks to my friends for beta reading for me and putting up with my bouncing ideas off of them! <3


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